O Código Ron Hubbard e a Fada dos Dentes Perdida

iSe, tal como eu, estão ansiosos por deitar a mão a uma pilha do último livro do Dan Brown, estraçalhá-la com compassos e esquadros e depois fazer uma linda fogueira numa loja maçónica em dia determinado pelo alinhamento dos astros, deixem-se de tendências pirómanas e de fixações estranhas por material escolar. Mal mudem de identidade e experimentem estas geringonças online (aqui e ali), esperam-vos contratos milionários, sessões de autógrafos, processos judiciais por plágio e outras aventuras muito divertidas que não requerem conhecimentos de latim. Eis os meus futuros best-sellers:

Best-seller A)
The Hidden Sign

An ancient puzzle at the heart of Buenos Aires.
A murderous cult determined to protect it.
A frantic race to uncover the Scientologists' darkest secret.

When world-famous Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is summoned to the Colon Theatre to analyze a mysterious rune—drawn on a calling card next to the mangled body of the head docent—he discovers evidence of the unthinkable: the resurgence of the ancient cult of the Lucinistas, a secret branch of the Scientologists that has surfaced from the shadows to carry out its legendary vendetta against its mortal enemy, the Vatican.

Langdon's worst fears are confirmed when a messenger from the Lucinistas appears at the Puente de la Mujer to deliver a sinister ultimatum: Deposit $1 billion in the Scientologists' off-shore bank accounts or the exclusive clothier of the Swiss Guards will be bankrupted. With the deadline fast approaching, Langdon joins forces with the porcelain-skinned and quick-witted daughter of the murdered docent in a desperate bid to crack the code that will reveal the cult's secret plan.

Embarking on a frantic hunt, Langdon and his companion follow a 600-year-old trail through Buenos Aires's most exalted libraries and venerable statues, pursued by a asthmatic assassin the cult has sent to thwart them. What they discover threatens to expose a conspiracy that goes all the way back to L. Ron Hubbard and the very founding of the Scientologists.

Best-seller B)

James Harrison, the ruggedly handsome, world renowned Harvard professor of Useless Crapology is summoned to Europe to analyze the mysterious murder of a famous scientist of some sort . While there, he discovers evidence of the unimaginable - the definitive and substantial proof of the tooth fairy. He must work with Elizabeth, the extremely beautiful and intelligent engineer, in order to beat the clock and unlock the mystery. James Harrison's worst fears are confirmed when he discovers that a crazy desert raider has been murdering innocent victims, including a bunch of German tourists. He and Elizabeth must rush against the clock, and use their knowledge of obscure art, ambiguous history, impossible computer science theory, and inaccurate theology, as their investigation takes them through the mysterious streets of Lisbon. They encounter further difficulties when their efforts are thwarted by the President of the United States who has his own plan for solving the mystery and unlocking the secrets of the tooth fairy. James Harrison and Elizabeth put their fate into the hands of the director of the FBI who actually turns out to be the one who planned and orchestrated the entire devious plot. As they expose the treacherous director of the FBI they must also face the truth that the tooth fairy was just a fabrication, and does not really exist. When the director of the FBI is finally exposed, he tries to escape, but tragically dies engulfed in infernal flames, as James Harrison and Elizabeth look on. With his last breath, the director of the FBI explains that his motives were actually good, but got corrupted and twisted by evil ambition. Putting the entire fiasco behind them, James Harrison and Elizabeth kiss in a very romantic and awkward kind of way.